For as long as I can remember life has disappointed me. There have been periods of bliss that seemed to uncannily correlate to getting what I want and periods of peace that have an underlying stench of giving up. In fact, if I could write out the phases of my life it would be a cycle of: I work towards what I want, I get what I get, I’m disappointed, find myself at “F#*! it!”, then cycle over and over… sometimes multiple times a day.
Why the needless suffering?
Because we get attached to the things we’re trying to “manifest” a.k.a. control the outcome of. The truth is “Nothing will ever be enough.” When we get what we want we try to hold on to it, try not to let it change, worry that it will leave us, etc. Getting what you want can lead to as much disappointment as not getting it and the guilt of being disappointed when we “should” feel happy.
Openness! Not TRYing to be open but HONESTLY being open, vulnerably open, happily open. Free from manipulation and willing to sit in awkwardness asking yourself “How attached am I to getting my way?”, “Why do I want what I want?”, “Why is not getting what I want a problem?”, “Why is what I have/am not enough?”, “How would I feel if I did not get what I want?” Openness liberates you from thinking you’re not enough. It allows you to shine in appreciation of your own unfiltered raw honesty.
Nothing is meant to satisfy you, it’s meant to inspire you! Life on Life’s terms is the spiritual journey! The attitude we have during gain and loss is what allows the openness for our highest potential. Maybe disappointment arises because Life’s trying to change the quality of my attitude. Maybe it’s to help us to look up at our Angels (like a child asking for cake and getting broccoli) laugh and say “you’re so funny.”